The Painful Prerequisite to Change
At a dinner party my wife and I attended recently, the host asked everyone to answer this question: What is an area of life where your thoughts have changed in recent years?
It’s a fascinating question because it implies that our thoughts (opinions, perceptions, assumptions, priorities, and values) can actually change.
Neuroscientists refer to this as neuroplasticity. Neuroplasticity is required to learn, grow, and adapt. Everyone should want that.
Why doesn’t everyone do it?
The answer may lie in something else neuroscientists have found: Epinephrine is the precursor to neuroplasticity.
Stick with me. This is very interesting.
Stanford neurobiologist Andrew Huberman explains that epinephrine is a neurotransmitter your brain needs in order to change. The catch is that epinephrine makes you feel agitated.
Therefore…
Agitation always precedes transformation.
Here’s an example from my own experiences: Right now, I’m working on a high-stakes project that matters a lot to me personally. It’s taken me months to formulate my vision for the project and how it should be executed.
However, a teammate recently joined me in working on the project, and it was immediately clear that she has a different point of view about how things should go.
As we discussed our competing perspectives, I could feel my body get tense. Despite my desire to remain warm and collaborative, I found myself growing agitated.
This didn’t feel good; it made me want to power up on my teammate or shut down. I felt unsettled and uncomfortable, feelings I wanted to resolve as quickly as possible.
But as I breathed, asked questions, and listened, something happened.
I changed my mind about how the project should be executed.
Now epinephrine doesn’t always lead to neuroplasticity. I might have decided to stick with my plan after hearing out my teammate. But I couldn’t have changed my mind about something I had so firmly fixed in my mind without first feeling agitated.
Agitation always precedes transformation.
This applies to changing what you think about yourself, what you think about others, how you behave, and the choices you make, along with your political, spiritual, and ethical positions.
What’s the implication of this?
If you want to be a human who learns, grows, and adapts (and you should), then you’ll want to welcome and accept the agitation that precedes transformation.
Feeling criticized by your partner?
Welcome and accept your agitation.
Dismayed by the opinions of the other political party?
Welcome and accept your agitation.
Resistant to embracing the changes within your organization?
Welcome and accept your agitation.
Frustrated by others wanting you to change?
Welcome and accept your agitation.
When we welcome and accept our agitation, we not only open ourselves up to growth, but we also build trust with others.
Why is this the case? Well, just try building trust and connection with someone who is in a fight-or-flight response due to their agitated state.
My last post focused on managing anxiety. This post is about managing agitation. Both are key to productive leadership and influence.
Who or what is making you feel agitated? What will you do to welcome and accept the agitation?
