A Clarification about Leading with Influence
In response to my latest book release last week, I received an elucidating message from a close friend who is also a university professor of theology. I’ve decided to include the full text here rather than summarize it because it’s so well-articulated:
The sub-title on page 93 is “Listen Empathetically” and later on page 96 the text encourages leaders to get personal. This makes a lot of sense, especially following up on the earlier pages encouraging an “I-you” relationship. Short digression: I loved the critique of the transactional “I-it” that dominates. “You and I” always means we’re in a relationship. So many people see other people as “its” that exist for their usage, whatever that may be. End of digression. Nevertheless, the empathetic listening and personal engagement resulted in an “additional $623,000” and another organization reported “$3.1 million in bottom-line impact to their org by improving their influence this way.”
I wonder if there is room for something like: “Be an empathetic listener and care about people b/c it’s the right thing to do. It recognizes their humanity and yours. It may not always result in more profits, it may even hinder profits, but do it b/c it is right, not b/c it may be profitable. If you do the right thing often enough and long enough, the chances increase that good things, including personal and financial success, will come to you. The key is that the motivation for profit is genuinely secondary.” This is difficult and even counter-cultural. I need to be clear, too: My motives are never pure either. I’m motivated by financial pay-off, professional accolades, and personal perks.
So much food for thought in those brief paragraphs. This friend has helped me think and communicate more clearly since we were roommates in college.
In business, there is always an emphasis on the financial benefits of doing something to justify doing it; and yes, profitability is the primary measure of business success, but profit doesn’t have to be the only reason you do something. Sometimes we can forget all the other important benefits beyond the bottom line. Isn’t there value in doing the right thing because it’s the right thing? Often that’s why people want to work or associate with us. It’s also what ultimately feeds our personal fulfillment in life.
My friend reminds me of the late twentieth century Irish novelist Iris Murdoch, who makes the case that the highest form of morality is truly seeing and paying attention to another person. When we don’t truly understand another person, we don’t treat them correctly. She says that being a person of influence is less about having the best answers or solutions; instead, it’s more “a way of paying attention, which is the purest form of love.”
Of course, this assumes a certain world view.
My view of the world, and I suspect it might be yours as well, is that we have a higher purpose than just productivity and profits.
While our motives can be mixed, we care about morality, love, better relationships and a stronger community.
So back to the question at hand: Why should you and I improve our ability to influence without authority?
Because it’s the right thing to do. It’s more moral. It’s more loving. And it will likely lead to better organizational results.
If you read my latest book, I hope you see that as the reason and the result of leading with influence.
Who could you be more empathetic with and a better listener to this week?
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