Recently I went running with some friends. It started out rough, though, because my stomach hurt and I felt lightheaded. “Oh no!” I thought. “I’m not going to be able to keep pace with them, and this is going to be awful.” My muscles tightened, I started to worry, and I did slow down. Then
There’s a beautiful and instructive scene in the movie Inside Out when Bing Bong doesn’t want to keep going because he’s so upset about the changes happening around him. The character representing Joy becomes frustrated and tries to coax Bing Bong to move on. “It’s going to be OK, we can fix this,” she cheers.
Too often, these thought patterns have dominated the way I think about my calendar: Over-estimating my capacity: I’m available, so I suppose will! Fearing let down or rejection: I’d hate to disappoint that person… Feeling overwhelmed: I have no idea how I will get all this done. Does any of this resonate with you? These
Harvard psychologist Robert Kegan suggests that most people never become high-functioning adults who think for themselves. Becoming a fully functioning adult, according to Kegan, requires transformation away from dependent thinking. He theorizes that people need to transform through five stages (including what drives choices): Stage 1 – Impulsive Mind (immediate gratification) Stage 2 – Imperial
Researchers conducting a study asked humans and monkeys to perform a series of random tasks. To limit their ability to talk to themselves, some of the humans were asked to repeat the words “blah, blah, blah” while performing the tasks. The humans who performed the tasks without repeating “blah, blah, blah” demonstrated all the working
My friend Jamie leads a large technology organization. Last week I joined him for an all-hands Q&A about my latest book, Lead with Influence. Jamie previously read and reviewed the book, so he asked really thoughtful questions that apply especially to knowledge workers. Because so many readers of my posts are in knowledge work and,
Have you ever noticed that the lessons that serve you well in your professional life are often reinforced in the most unexpected circumstances? The other day as I was driving my daughter to school, I reminded her, “Do your best on the standardized reading test today.” “I don’t care about the test,” she replied. “It’s
As I stood waiting to check in for a doctor’s appointment, the front desk staff was enduring a combative patient. He’d come into the office that morning to dispute his bill and was threatening to disparage the clinic on social media for misleading and unfair business practices. It seemed the two women at the front
Last week a client who leads HR for her company said to me, “I did a hundred things today. Why didn’t anything happen?! I got insurance cards out, reset logins, answered emails, sat through meetings…but I don’t think I drove any meaningful progress.” Ah, the tyranny of the urgent, the whirlwind of demands. It’s a
I work closely with a company that designs and manufactures expensive boats. One of their long-time customers, a large boat dealer, asked for a meeting with them to discuss boat design improvements they believe are needed to sell more boats. The dealer has a long pattern of harsh criticism and negativity. At the same time,
Matt Norman is president of Norman & Associates, which offers Dale Carnegie Training in the North Central US. Dale Carnegie Training is a global organization ...READ MORE