Building Courage to Take on the New Year
Several people have told me in the past week that they feel afraid of failing in 2021. Afraid they’ll fail at work, that their marriage is failing, that they’ll fail as a parent/teacher/healthcare provider, that they’ll fail in selling, leading, or delivering. Afraid that they’ll fail in their goals for the year, fail to speak up for what they believe, or fail to fend off the demons of anxiety or depression. Many people are seeking courage to face the new year.
Do you fear failure in 2021? Are you lacking courage to face what’s ahead?
The root of the word courage is “cor” which is the Latin word for heart. In its original form courage meant to “speak one’s mind while telling all one’s heart” despite the risk of failure.
So, how do you gain a heart of courage despite uncertainties and challenges?
First, accept failure as an outcome you can manage.
You know how people often say they learn more from their failures than they do from their successes? I don’t think it’s necessarily because they learn what not to do (and therefore not to repeat mistakes). Rather, it’s because they learn that actual failure doesn’t hurt as much as the fear of failure. When we experience the actual feeling of failure and realize that it’s manageable, it gives us the courage to try again, with the knowledge that failure is always possible and that we can manage it. Credit to my friend Isaac Vogel for that insight.
Failure gives us heart — to fully express and be ourselves despite the outcomes.
The more we fail, the more we realize that failure has nothing to do with who we are. A heart of courage comes from knowing that you are safe, loved, responsible, and capable (as my friend Jim Jackson says)…even when your circumstances may be risky, unsupportive, unreliable, or dysfunctional.
Second, seek sources of genuine encouragement.
To encourage is to put courage into someone.
We receive encouragement when we hear messages that we are safe, loved, responsible, and capable, even when we fail. When it’s OK to fail, it’s even more OK to try. It’s OK to take risks — emotional risks, professional risks, etc. We can face failure with a heart of courage.
Consider the Cowardly Lion in “The Wizard of Oz” and how encouragement (or receiving the gift of courage) was simply about the others on the road with him compelling him to lean into the fear of failing, the fear of not being good enough, the fear of whatever he (or you and I) might be facing. In order to be on that road and receive that encouragement, he had to be transparent about his insecurities while remaining connected to his companions.
The film brilliantly identifies these character attributes (brains, heart, courage) and redeems them through togetherness (sharing the burden of the struggle or fear). Even the Wizard of Oz himself decides (courageously) to quit hiding behind his projected persona.
Finding sources of courage can be a tall order. It’s not common to have a boss or friend that gives more than an “atta boy” or “good job.” Encouragement boils down to a willingness to go on the journey with somebody who will see your worth — win, lose, or draw. And generally, the most compelling form of encouragement comes through empathy: What you’re going through is hard. You have what it takes. This is worth getting to the other side. Note that none of those comments minimize, rescue, or turn the attention away from the reality that failure happens, but you are worthy.
Do you have people like that in your life and at work?
Yes, 2021 may bring with it more difficulty. Just remember, you can manage failure, and it’s essential to surround yourself with sources of genuine encouragement.
How will you move toward your fears with a heart of courage this year?
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