The Value of Building Lasting Relationships and How to Invest In Yours
Once upon a time, there was a guy who would find any excuse to hang out in our office. It wasn’t creepy hanging out. He always had a legitimate reason for being there, despite not working for the company. Perhaps he’d be dropping off a book for someone, or coming in for a meeting, or checking in on our satisfaction with the small amount of work we’d contracted with him.
Until one day, he became our largest vendor.
Marty had been showing up several times a week for several months. Whenever he was in the office, he’d make a point to stop by to see how I was doing, update me on something interesting, or give me something I might find useful. It never felt intrusive. He was high energy and treated me like I’d known him for years. “Matty!” he’d say enthusiastically when he greeted me.
I sometimes wondered how he had the time. I’m sure his email inbox was filling up while he was hanging out. I’d imagine there were tasks on his to-do list that were languishing. I suppose he might have been disappointing some at his company who questioned the value of his time spent at our office. But none of it seemed to bother him, and I came to regard Marty as a colleague and friend.
His payday came when we launched a new product.
We quickly realized we couldn’t manage production on our own. On the day operations got really crazy, I remember feeling super anxious about the product launch, overwhelmed with what needed to be done.
And in walks Marty.
“Happy to help,” said Marty. “Do you want me to write an RFP for you and we will respond to it?”
“No,” I said. “Please just send me a contract.”
The deal was massive for Marty.
How to Make More Meaningful Investments in Relationships
A part of me longs to be more like Marty. I miss that kind of loyalty of presence. It’s the part of me that places value in longer time horizons. It’s the abundance mindset part of me rather than the scarcity mindset: There will be enough time, you’re getting enough done, just show up and spend time with people. It will pay off.
But the world today doesn’t seem to work that way. We prioritize showing up for our computer, phone, and internet. We work virtually, react to emails, and run to the next scheduled meeting to talk about projects, deadlines, and metrics.
I’m trying to imagine a world with more Martys. A world where we identify important relationships at work and commit to continuous showing up. Not necessarily showing up to get something done, but just to be present and bring some value. Not necessarily showing up just to make small talk about your weekend, but to really connect and make the other person feel important.
That’s what Marty did. And one day, when opportunity knocked on the door, he was there.
Now you may say, “Matt, I work out of my house in Moline and my customers are in Missoula, or my colleagues are in Manchester.”
You can still be a virtual Marty. Check out the article I wrote on running an engaging virtual meeting. Or try something that was much more common before texting: making a phone call.
Consider having more of an abundance, long-term mindset. Loosen the chains of email and meetings. Determine who you most want to invest in. (Check out this article on choosing which relationships matter most.) Resist the isolation of virtual working. And develop a pattern for showing up. One day you just might be there right when you’re needed most.
How can you be more like Marty for one of your clients or colleagues?
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