A few hours after a meeting, I received a call from one of my colleagues. “Hey,” he said. “I was a jerk to you in that meeting. I was feeling insecure and protective. I shouldn’t have taken it out on you. How are you feeling about it?” His courage to have a hard conversation and
Our boys have been working hard at school. After seeing their recent report cards, we wanted to affirm and appreciate them for their good work. We understand basic psychology well enough to know that appreciating their behavior will likely result in more of that behavior. But we’ve also come to realize that placing our appreciative
Relationships usually start with affinity: we work together, we live near each other, we both enjoy the same hobby or we exercise at the same gym. They deepen as we validate one another (implicitly or explicitly): we appreciate each other, we listen to each other, we show acts of kindness or we inflate each other’s
I once worked for a boss who looked past me when I spoke and rarely acknowledged my comments. To me, that’s a sure sign someone’s not listening. His behavior led me to conclude that he was inconsiderate and self-important. As a result, I believed he was someone who was not to be trusted. So I
We all have principles that we live our lives by, and it can be really frustrating when others don’t follow them, too. Here’s one of my guiding principles that it seems like few people practice: getting back to people with a clear answer after they’ve asked or offered you something. To me, it’s about showing
In last week’s blog, Matt described what he’s learning from “Yoda,” the marriage counselor we recently started seeing. Matt received many comments, both online and in person, thanking him for his willingness to create a space where there is permission for the hard and the messy things in life. He and I had a follow-up
A few weeks after giving this interview, Caroline Kennedy ended her 2008 campaign for U.S. Senate. Her performance was disparaged as not befitting the level of professionalism and poise required in leadership. The culprit? Filler words. In fact, many professional speech patterns (sometimes my own included) are littered with filler words. My dad was a
We all have role models, people who show us the way, not just through their words but through their actions. Some of them might be celebrated thinkers, authors or others in the public eye, people we may never have even met. And some of them might be a little closer to home. The other day,
My wife Kari and I took our three kids and dog for a weekend away. Just the act of getting everyone in the car is a major milestone. When we arrived at our destination, through tantrums, nagging and barking, Kari mobilized to unload the packed car of kids with focus and purpose. I let the
“It’s not what you know but who you know,” as they say. But who has time for that? I want to be in relationship but I have so much to do. I want to be a human being but demands on my time push me toward a human doing. This tension manifests itself when I
Matt Norman is president of Norman & Associates, which offers Dale Carnegie Training in the North Central US. Dale Carnegie Training is a global organization ...READ MORE