How Your Orientation of Control Directs Your Personal and Professional Success
What difference do you see between these statements:
- The traffic was awful vs. I left late
- My schedule is crazy vs. I’ve agreed to too many things
- You’re making me angry vs. I’m feeling defensive
- She didn’t get back to me vs. I need to follow-up with her
- This job is too difficult vs. I’m not doing what it takes
Notice how the second statements begin. While each of the first statements reflect what psychologists call external locus of control, the second statements demonstrate an internal locus of control.
Internal Vs. External Locus of Control
In 2001, I was failing at my job. At least one person thought I should be fired. Every meeting and task carried angst and weight. At the same time, I was trying to negotiate the changes of being engaged and then newly married. My doctor told me someone my age should have lower blood pressure.
At the time, I would have said, “I work in a political and cutthroat environment, I’ve got a lot going on in my personal life, and it’s all making me quite stressed.” In fact, for years, that’s how I’ve characterized that time in my life.
Now, I would say I just needed to grow up.
How To Improve Your Internal Locus of Control
In more recent years, I’ve immersed myself in the world of self-improvement. I listen to dozens of podcasts, read books about performance, and have participated in training/coaching experiences. Plus, I’ve spent a year meeting with a marriage therapist and have been meeting with a mentor monthly for almost five years.
Through this, I’ve grown. While I still have so much to work on, I perform better now in several areas than I used to. I’m a better listener. I don’t get as defensive from criticism. I’m more concise. I have a higher pain threshold. I eat better. That’s growing up.
But growth in these areas has done something more for me than just improve the results I get. Growth has helped me see that when I change X, I get Y outcome.
I know, it sounds very simple. But the impact is profound. You see, the more I see that results change when I change, the more I shift from an external to an internal locus of control.
This is very important because studies have shown that people with an internal locus of control are more motivated and likely to learn. They are also less likely to suffer from anxiety. Perhaps that’s why my blood pressure has normalized and I’ve conquered my fears of public speaking and flying. Even though I’m not flying the plane or directing the audience reaction, I have a greater belief that all I can control is myself.
This is not so much about self-sufficiency and self-reliance. I’m not any less dependent today on relationships and support from others than I was 17 years ago. An internal locus of control doesn’t mean that I am in control or don’t need others. It simply means that I take full responsibility for myself. And when I’ve reached my limits, I can rest.
I’m striving to realize: it’s not about me, but it is up to me.
And how is it with you? Are you finding yourself tempted to blame, complain, or criticize others or your circumstances? Try shifting to a greater internal locus of control.
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