Find Your “True Voice” to Maximize Your Performance
I rushed to the first tee of a networking golf event. The others in my group— all older than me and looking like successful businesspeople—had already hit their first shots. So naturally, the most laughable and embarrassing thing that could happen happened: My shot went almost directly to the left off the tee, cascaded off a tree, and bounced through a parking lot full of cars. The sounds the others made were a pitiful mix of pain and sympathy.
The harder I tried, the more I continued to hit these brutal shots…until I realized I was over-swinging in an effort to impress.
Isn’t it interesting how trying too hard makes us less effective? The more effort I apply, the more successful I am up to a point, and then I get a lot worse.
In golf it’s over-swinging. In rowing it’s rushing the slide. In baseball and softball, it’s overthrowing. Carly Schonberg, a fastpitch softball pitcher and instructor, says that “your natural reaction is to put forth more effort. However, the type of effort you put forth is very important.” Trying too hard usually results in people “clenching their muscles,” whereas “relaxation is key to speed.”
I frequently clench my body and my mind when I’m trying to get to know someone, sell an idea or solve a problem. When I do that, I overanalyze, overengineer and overemphasize my points.
Can you relate?
Recently a colleague gave me a name for the inflection point at which we have maximum focus and relaxation. He calls it our “true voice.”
That phrase resonates with me because the word “true” implies pure, authentic, liberated and flowing. The word “voice” suggests an expression from within that is unique and carries force. Our true voice has power; we don’t have to clench for it.
After I wrote last week about feeling low, a dear friend called and said, “When I’m down, I get out of it faster when I don’t grip tightly to the funkiness.”
To do this, perhaps the type of effort we put forth should be focused on:
- Breathing: Many great professionals have discovered the value of deep breathing to avoid trying too hard.
- Calming: Mental and physical stillness promote focus and awareness.
- Being patient: Slowing instead of rushing. Going with the flow rather than pushing against the stream.
- Regaining perspective: When we remember who we are, what is most important and the context of our surroundings, we make better choices.
- Discerning: At times, we need gritty endurance, robust power or exuberant enthusiasm. High performers know when to switch these on and when to switch them off.
- Self forgiving: The madder I get at myself, the more I clench. The more I give myself grace, the better I perform.
What challenge could you face this week with more relaxation and less clenching?
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