Why Your Credibility Increases When You Admit Your Flaws
It annoys my wife that I always ask the server at a restaurant for a food recommendation. You see, it’s more than a request for guidance. It also may reveal the server’s authenticity.
A couple of tell-tale signs that they’re not being authentic:
- They recommend the most expensive items on the menu.
- They say something like, “everything on the menu is wonderful.”
It turns out this “authenticity test” plays a key role in the effort to influence others. As researcher Robert Cialdini explains in his recent book, “Pre-Suasion: A Revolutionary Way to Influence and Persuade,” admitting flaws up front makes you more credible.
According to his research, an early admission of flaws causes people to be more receptive to subsequent claims of strength. In other words, once you highlight what is not good on the menu, patrons will be more willing to believe you when you talk about what is good on the menu.
What’s the connection for us in our workplaces?
First, any time you are selling an idea or a product, consider highlighting what it doesn’t do well or what might put someone off. A successful partner at a well-respected consulting firm, for example, tells clients up front that he is very expensive. He says, “If you’re looking for the cheapest option, I’m not it. I’m your highest quality option.”
It turns some away; it turns some toward him. In either case, when he talks about the firm’s strengths, people believe what he says.
Second, it gives you more permission to be vulnerable, even about yourself. A colleague of mine recently said that, while she’s happy to manage others, it’s not a top strength or preference. This vulnerability causes me and others on the team to trust her even more. She knows what she is and what she is not. The rest of us don’t have to guess.
As for me, I’m not good at planning. It’s hard for me to think through required steps and details. Often, I can change course mid-stream to get to the desired result, though sometimes I simply underestimate what’s needed. Some classic examples of where I run into trouble are getting my kids to activities on time and managing a financial budget at work.
I am, however, good at big-picture thinking and working with other people: I can see the “forest for the trees,” and people generally like to work with me. These qualities make me effective at envisioning the future, innovating, and facilitating and making conversation. I won’t necessarily have everything planned, but I will be ready in the moment to guide progress toward a desired result.
Now, do you believe that I’m actually good at those things?
I bet that you do. Because I started out by telling you about one of my flaws, you’re more likely to believe me when I told you about my strengths.
It’s hard to admit drawbacks and weaknesses. We tend to feel that revealing incompetence makes us appear incompetent. But that’s not what the research says. In fact, it says the opposite.
So how about you? What do you need to admit up front (about yourself, your product, your project, or your company) so that you can be more credible overall?
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