How to Be Less Siloed and More Collaborative
The lone wolf is a classic trope that’s often celebrated in American and other cultures. One example can be found in the new George Clooney-Brad Pitt movie “Wolfs.” While their characters are forced to work together, each is convinced that they’re the only one who can do the job and that they don’t need any help.
The film highlights three reasons why people resist asking for things from other people:
- Fear of rejection: It feels awful to be rebuffed or rejected by others, so most people avoid it.
- Perception it signals weakness: Sharing credit or deferring to others can make people feel insecure.
- Aversion to complexity: Complexity is created when more than one person is involved in a task. It’s much simpler to do it yourself…to be the lone wolf.
But we know we need things from other people. We require support, cooperation, ideas, money, time, and encouragement to achieve our goals in work and in life.
So how, then, do we push back on these lone wolf tendencies to gain more cooperation? Here are three ways:
- Invite more discussion. I often coach subject matter experts (like technologists, project managers, engineers, scientists, analysts, functional leads, et al) on their ability to influence and improve cooperation. By far the biggest challenge they face is the lack of ability to generate meaningful discussion. Instead of a robust Let’s work this out together through better understanding and shared ideation, it’s You tell me what you need and I’ll tell you how to get it done. This limits shared ownership and trust while perpetuating the I got this A simple shift in how you think about and approach these discussions will open up more collaboration and support rather than shutting it down.
- Be more curious. Genuine curiosity is the antidote to self-reliance. Asking I wonder if there’s another way or I wonder what this other person thinks and feels about this or I wonder why this matters are all keys to unlocking better collaboration and, ultimately, better results. This is a relentless growth-mindset approach to problems and interactions that you can consciously cultivate.
- Reframe your opportunities. Too often people assume that it’s on them or up to them. No one wants to be a burden or let others down. But moving from “me” to “we” can result in better sharing of burdens without removing accountability for results. Many hands make light labor as the saying goes. To do this, use these four words more often: “let’s,” “we,” “us,” and “our.” When you’re presenting, explaining, requesting, or considering, think like the worker who tells people “We’re building a palace” rather than the one who says “I’m laying bricks.” Both might be doing the same tasks with the same accountabilities, but the palace-builder thinks and talks in big-picture terms, and that impacts how they approach the tasks.
While it can be tempting to go heads down and isolate yourself in the name of productivity, consider prioritizing availability over productivity and engagement over efficiency. These three approaches require an investment of time with others, and that’s an investment that is worthwhile.
How could you push against the lone wolf in you this week so that you can gain greater cooperation?
