How to Become a More Resilient Person
Recently I went running with some friends. It started out rough, though, because my stomach hurt and I felt lightheaded.
“Oh no!” I thought. “I’m not going to be able to keep pace with them, and this is going to be awful.”
My muscles tightened, I started to worry, and I did slow down.
Then I remembered how the Penn Resilience Program at University of Pennsylvania trains law enforcement, military, first responders, and others to manage their fear in the face of adversity.
Despite my stomach pain and dizziness, I managed to pick up the pace and enjoy the entirety of the run.
What did I remember to do?
Re-Interpret the Stimulus
Every day, you and I are impacted by “stimuli”: internal and external changes that force us to respond in a productive or unproductive way.
The Penn Resilience Program helps people respond more productively in the face of adversity by improving their interpretations.
Reb Rebele, a researcher and educator with the University of Pennsylvania program, says that people need to learn to be more “agentic,” not just reactive organisms shaped by our environment or driven by inner impulses. This means you need to reevaluate what you believe about your control or capacity to handle adverse stimuli. In other words, he says, you need to challenge your interpretations of what happens to you or in you.
For example, I recently presented a proposal that I was really excited about. It felt like the right path forward and would have several benefits. However, the cash wasn’t available to execute the proposal.
Did I interpret this as an obstacle, a setback, an indication that my proposal should be abandoned?
Initially, yes.
Then I reminded myself that the lack of available cash (stimulus) could have other interpretations. Perhaps:
- Other options existed that required less or no cash.
- This was an opportunity for me to reconsider my priorities.
- I simply needed to exercise patience.
Once I re-interpreted the stimulus, I set off on a more productive path, which resulted in more motivation, creativity, and progress.
Here’s another example. I was recently in a work meeting where we were discussing a high-stakes decision. I felt my chest tighten. My first interpretation was: “I’m not getting enough air,” which led me to take a couple of deep breaths. But that didn’t relieve the chest tightness. Then I made a different interpretation: “Your chest is tightening because this topic is making you anxious, but you have plenty of air and you’ll be fine,” which caused me to relax and stay fully present for the meeting.
Let’s go back to the run. When my stomach hurt and my head felt dizzy, I challenged the interpretations. I thought, maybe I’m not doomed to failure or frustration. More specifically, I concluded:
- I’ve managed to get through many runs despite physical ailments.
- I’m capable of doing hard things.
- I can still enjoy the scenery and people around me.
My muscles relaxed, my fears subsided, and I settled into a great time of exercise and community…even completed the run, feeling tired but much better.
Soon you’ll experience a stimulus. It might be something happening physically, mentally, or emotionally inside you. It could also be something happening to you.
Either way, will you assume you’re a victim of the adversity, making you fearful, frustrated, or fatigued?
Or will you reconsider your interpretation?
Here’s the bottom line: Interpret effectively to respond productively.
