Just Respond
Ignoring is the new denial. Behind our virtual workspace, and walls named Caller ID and Email Overload, we hide from the flood of emails, texts, tweets, status updates, calls and drop-bys. Other people’s priorities become our distractions. So we ignore and we isolate.
Last week, I made my final attempt. Since our meeting a month ago, where I suggested a book by Patrick Lencioni, I have tried two voicemails and two emails. In this courtship, I offered to hand deliver the book as a gift, in hopes we could continue our dialogue. But she’s gone dark. No response. Summer vacation? Personal issues? Workload? Disinterest? Or maybe she views me as a “vendor” rather than a potential “partner” and vendors, well; they only get our time when we need them. (I’m ashamed to remember the time early in my career when I made a vendor wait in our lobby for 45 minutes while I finished a project and, at the time, I never thought twice about it.)
While I’d appreciate being a partner, I’d rather be declined than ignored. When we value and respect people, we increase their engagement and improve our brand. Here are three practical ways to respectfully decline:
1. Sincere voicemail. When I don’t have an interest in working with someone, I will often call their voicemail on my commute home from work. Voicemails are more personal than emails because they include vocal inflection that can show sincerity and appreciation. While we should be direct when we decide not engage, we can also be appreciative for the interest another had in connecting.
2. Transparent writing. Sometimes the fastest and most practical method is writing. One way to show respect when our tone can’t convey warmth is to be transparent. Telling someone the honest reason for the decline shows sincerity. For example, I might say, “Thank you for your interest in doing lunch this month. My focus this month needs to be new business lunches along with some time to get caught up on performance reviews for my team. I’ll let you know when it’s a more appropriate time.”
3. Personal contact. Whether live in person, video conference or a hand-written note, making an extra effort to extend ourselves to someone in order to end, limit or delay communication can pay back dividends. It helps to build our personal brand as someone who treats others with respect and dignity.
To get to our priorities, we have to limit our communication with others. When we do set boundaries, let’s give people the respect of a response. Not only does it affirm our humanity, we never know when we will be on the other side of the desire to connect.
Who’s waiting for you to decline?
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