Pay Attention to the Little Things that Signal Big Trust
Animals in the wild tune their senses to any threats or environmental changes. Likewise, human beings process many signals from others, and the brain’s amygdala activates what it deems to be appropriate fear or avoidance responses.
For instance, if I notice what appears to be someone multi-tasking in a meeting while I’m presenting, my amygdala will send a threat response to my nervous system, causing me to feel frustrated, annoyed, nervous or insecure. Even though there may be other indicators that the person is paying attention, the human brain can only process a select subset of available data. As Harvard’s Chris Argyris and others have pointed out, humans make assumptions based on that select data and ultimately form beliefs regardless of the possibility that they may have selected the wrong data.
How quickly do people select data and form beliefs about other people?
To support the launch of a new cologne collection, the Dollar Shave Club conducted a study on first impressions and found that seven in ten (69%) Americans form a first impression of someone before that person even speaks.
Could it be that people decide how trustworthy you and I are just by looking at us?
Princeton psychologists Janine Willis and Alexander Todorov would say yes. They conducted separate experiments where subjects were shown photographs of unfamiliar faces for one-tenth of a second, half a second and a full second. A second group had no time limit to study the photos. Participants were immediately asked to judge the person in the photo: “Is this person trustworthy?” or “Is this person competent?” They were then asked to rate their confidence level in their own assessment.
The researchers discovered that confidence ratings were highly correlated regardless of how long the subject studied the photo. In other words, judgments made in one-tenth of a second were basically the same as judgments made under no time pressure. What’s more, subjects who had the luxury of taking time to make a decision made judgments just as quickly as those who only had one-tenth of a second.
Out of all of the traits, trustworthiness surfaced as having the highest correlation between the one-tenth of a second look and unbounded look at someone.
Fast impressions of trustworthiness go beyond how you look and include your email, slide deck and other branded collateral. In fact, three separate studies have shown that people make decisions about the credibility of an organization or product after looking at a website for only 50 milliseconds!
More studies and examples of the power of impressions can be found in Nicholas Boothman’s book How to Make People Like You in 90 Seconds. One example I found particularly interesting relates to the importance of directing and opening up your torso toward others with whom you want to build trust. When your “heart” is physically obscured or blocked from someone, it may send subconscious signals that you’re guarded, as you would have been in human history around an enemy who may try to attack you.
What Impression Do You Make?
It’s these small examples, usually not intended to be over-indexed as singular takeaways, that form an overall impression to others that you and I are trustworthy.
What impression are you making? Here are 30 concrete examples of actions and behaviors that will help signal your trustworthiness to others:
- Smile or maintain a soft and welcoming expression, even when you’re focused.
- Mirror other’s expressions, language and posture.
- Begin, as Dale Carnegie would say, in a friendly way.
- Wear attire that shows you are thoughtful and intentional about your appearance.
- Write emails/messages that are short and easy to read, understand and reply to.
- Avoid putting more than one person in the “to” line of an email, and limit the number of messages you send
- End professional correspondence with closed-ended questions (instead of something like, “What are your thoughts on this?”) to help people process your message quickly.
- Show slides and other visuals that can be understood in six seconds or less.
- Act graciously and supportively toward colleagues when presenting as a team.
- Arrive on time or, even better, early.
- Look people in the eyes and use appropriate greetings.
- Turn your camera on for virtual meetings and make sure you’re framed well in the screen.
- Use a well-rated webcam, microphone and selfie light(s) so you’re easy to see on video.
- Use virtual backgrounds or ensure your background is not distracting.
- Speak using relevant and easy-to-follow language.
- Modulate your voice and pause between words to allow others to absorb what you’re saying.
- Produce deliverables (documents, spreadsheets, reports, etc.) that appear professional and organized.
- Demonstrate enthusiasm (a spirit within you) when you’re communicating.
- Communicate calmly, even when you’re rushed or stressed.
- Speak with confidence but not arrogance.
- Listen more than you talk and listen with empathy.
- Ask curious follow-up questions, never interrupting, one-upping, judging, blaming or offering unwanted advice.
- Avoid dismissive facial expressions like eye rolls, head shakes, frowns and eyebrow furrows.
- Try not to use let-down words like “unfortunately,” as in, “unfortunately, this is our policy.”
- Speak loudly and clearly enough so that others can clearly understand you.
- Remain focused on the person talking.
- Act more interested in others than in yourself.
- Appear as though you care for your body as much as you’re able through rest, nutrition and exercise.
- Use inclusive language and address everyone equally.
- Follow up when and how you said you would.
The list could go on.
Many of the items above can be and usually are demonstrated after an initial impression is made. They cover much of the ongoing impression we give others. They answer the nagging, never-ending question that the amygdala has been asking about others for all of human history: Is this person (still) trustworthy?
Which of the items on this list would be important for you to further consider?
Comments are closed here.