What difference do you see between these statements: The traffic was awful vs. I left late My schedule is crazy vs. I’ve agreed to too many things You’re making me angry vs. I’m feeling defensive She didn’t get back to me vs. I need to follow-up with her This job is too difficult vs. I’m not doing what
There I was in work meeting, talking too much and not being clear. My colleague had said something. I disagreed in a way that antagonized him. He got tense and defensive. My response wasn’t gracious. We felt locked in battle, over-talking, and not listening. In retrospect, it was obvious to me: I was tired and
With one month remaining in 2017, I went to my mentor looking for a solution to a nagging concern. I’d noticed that during intense stretches of life and work, I’d become more dependent on having a nightly drink (or two) as a coping mechanism. Not that there’s anything wrong with drinking in moderation for enjoyment,
Dan Kersten told me that his rock bottom smartphone moment came when his wife asked his son, Ben, what he loves about his Dad. “He gives me hugs, he makes cool things out of cardboard, and he’s always playing with his phone,” Ben responded. And that, Dan says, is when he realized he was addicted
What’s more important to leadership effectiveness: having low anxiety or high skill? As I realized last week, that question isn’t as simple as it might seem. I was on fire last week. In fact, I actually told a friend that I was “firing on all cylinders.” I was energetic, confident, focused, and relaxed. And I
I sat in my car last week with my eyes closed. I felt “off my game” and anxious. Only minutes remained before a very important scheduled meeting with a client. I’d never met this executive before and a lot was at stake based on whether she liked me and what I had to say. For
It was a tense, even stifling, environment. People were afraid to fail, so they avoided risks. They were reluctant to speak up in meetings or challenge ideas. The reason? The leader. He was never out of control, always in charge, always one step ahead of everyone else. Never vulnerable. Always composed. For all his self-assurance,
In his powerful book A Failure of Nerve: Leadership in the Age of the Quick Fix, Edwin Friedman talks about an anxious world’s desperate need for a non-anxious leader. He describes this type of leader as follows: I mean someone who has clarity about his or her own life goals, and, therefore, someone who is
“In this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes.” Benjamin Franklin affirmed the reality of human limits when he wrote those words. And I affirmed this reality when I recently reviewed a six-week time analysis of my schedule. I had been letting people down. The time analysis revealed why. I
You can’t see it, but I get performance anxiety. My stomach knots, my palms sweat, my nerves fray, my breath is uneven and my thoughts are scattered. In the past week, I got it to some degree or another for: a meeting with our company, a big lunch meeting with a client and a networking
Matt Norman is president of Norman & Associates, which offers Dale Carnegie Training in the North Central US. Dale Carnegie Training is a global organization ...READ MORE