Do you ever feel resentful that people aren’t listening well enough to you when you talk? Perhaps it’s your boss, a client, or your husband. Maybe you’ve said, “I told you that, but you didn’t listen!” Or you’ve thought, “Why are people on their phones in our meetings!?” It can be a difficult and frustrating
The decision to do or not do something, to support or not support something, to spend money or not spend money on something…despite what you might think, these aren’t logical choices. Decisions are made in the emotional/intuitive part of the brain. So how do you get people to change their mind? Emotions Over Logic Research
When a person is guarded, it is almost impossible to have an influence on them. Perhaps you can coerce, control, or manipulate them, but persuade, influence, or gain their cooperation? Not so much. Ask a trained hostage negotiator. Former lead international kidnapping negotiator for the FBI, Chris Voss, says: Though the intensity may differ from
A good friend of mine recently offered an interesting perspective from the top of the organization he leads. He remarked that leaders (of any organization, team, community, or family) should expect to continuously have to make complex and ambiguous decisions. After all, if they weren’t complex or ambiguous, they would have been decided at lower
When is a question more than just a question? Here’s a good example: Have you ever thought about seeing a therapist? That’s actually advice disguised as a question. The problem is, rather than generating dialogue, these kinds of questions often elicit a defense like: I’ve tried…I’ve thought of that…That won’t work because… Do you ever ask
Of the 50 or so graduating seniors that heard me speak last week, two of them sent me an email asking for advice and help with getting a job. There’s something a little awkward about boldly taking that step, but they did it. What inside them made them do it? I thought about this after
What role do your eyes play in building relationships? Quite a bit, according to a new study highlighted in the Wall Street Journal. It found that human beings are unique among animals in how we reveal and interpret our emotions through our eyes. The eyes really are the window to the soul, and since the
Last week I talked about three of the people who have inspired me recently. Every week we can find these moments of inspiration, both large and small, if we’re willing to look for them. Who moved you this week? Who made you sit up taller, think more clearly or engage more deeply? Here are three
Who moved you this week? Who made you sit up taller, think more clearly or engage more deeply? Here are three lessons of inspiration I learned this week. 1. Being flawed is being human. In telling me about his journey of accepting being flawed and broken, Dave talked about his desire to be perfect and
As a leader, there will be times when you’ll need to change someone’s behavior or mindset. If you’re like most of us, your instinct will be to put your powers of persuasion to work, to come up with all the best arguments to sway the person. Persuasion, which relies on logic and wit, is an
Matt Norman is president of Norman & Associates, which offers Dale Carnegie Training in the North Central US. Dale Carnegie Training is a global organization ...READ MORE