In 2008, my good friend Jeff Dykstra* faced significant fear of the unknown. He’d already taken a huge risk leaving the private sector and moving his entire family to Lusaka, Zambia, in 2006 with World Vision. Now, he was only a few months away from finishing his commitment in Africa. His next career move weighed
The decision to do or not do something, to support or not support something, to spend money or not spend money on something…despite what you might think, these aren’t logical choices. Decisions are made in the emotional/intuitive part of the brain. So how do you get people to change their mind? Emotions Over Logic Research
When a person is guarded, it is almost impossible to have an influence on them. Perhaps you can coerce, control, or manipulate them, but persuade, influence, or gain their cooperation? Not so much. Ask a trained hostage negotiator. Former lead international kidnapping negotiator for the FBI, Chris Voss, says: Though the intensity may differ from
Recently in a coaching conversation, I asked a client what he wanted in life right now. Initially, the response was somewhat obvious: happy family, health, work success… Then he paused to reflect more deeply. “I want to know I’m doing a good job,” he said. “Actually, you know what I really want?… I just don’t
If you ever thought your job would be a whole lot easier if you didn’t have to deal with people, imagine what it’s like to be the principal of a middle school. Talk about having to deal with people: First you have the teachers — young and old, science and band, engaged and checked out.
Over the holiday weekend, I got to connect with my dad, who spent his entire career speaking and coaching adults to develop more effective relationships using the Dale Carnegie concepts and methods. We talked about my dad’s belief that we all have levels of relationship “capital” in invisible bank accounts that exist between people. Our
My friend and I were out for a run. Our conversation along the way began as an information exchange, talking to each other about what we’d done that week. And then it pivoted to his marriage. “It’s not going well,” he told me. “We’ve been fighting a lot.” At that point, my listening changed. I
How would you describe your dream client relationship? I’m fortunate to have one right now, so I know exactly what it looks like for me: The client and I genuinely ask how the other is doing—because we care. We open up to each other about work goals and challenges. He invites me into his planning
I arrived with great suspicion at the baseball card shop on 98th and Lyndale last week, hauling five years of my childhood from the trunk of my car to the feet of the shop’s owner. I was burned by baseball card trades in my childhood, so I fully expected this guy might try to take
Four months ago, I began something that, although it didn’t start out that way, ended up being an experiment in gratitude. Initially, I was responding to my own frustration that I couldn’t seem to remember the things that others cared about. I’ve been carrying so many things about myself in my own head that it
Matt Norman is president of Norman & Associates, which offers Dale Carnegie Training in the North Central US. Dale Carnegie Training is a global organization ...READ MORE