I arrived home from work feeling very self-satisfied. I was on a roll. “How was your day?” asked my wife. “Great.” “Why?” “I got everything done that I wanted to.” And then she asked me this: “Is that how you measure the quality of your day?” Oh my, I thought. I certainly do. I mean,
Are you aware of how the tone of your communication impacts others? It might be far more than you think. In a recent study, researchers at the University of Southern California analyzed the acoustic features of couples’ dialogues and, based on that analysis, were able to out-predict marriage therapists on which couples would remain together.
In her TED Talk, The power of vulnerability (the fourth most-watched in the series, with 28 million views and counting), Brene Brown discusses research showing that we build connections, contentment and credibility when we “show up as we really are.” And “as we really are” is wounded—vulnerable. Maybe not right at this moment. Perhaps you
It was a tense, even stifling, environment. People were afraid to fail, so they avoided risks. They were reluctant to speak up in meetings or challenge ideas. The reason? The leader. He was never out of control, always in charge, always one step ahead of everyone else. Never vulnerable. Always composed. For all his self-assurance,
At a recent company meeting, one of the people on my team announced that she was “the most engaged at work” that she’s ever been. She’s worked on our team for several years, and this hasn’t been the easiest of them. Yet she is on fire. Imagine the impact her enthusiasm for work has on our
The tension was heavy in a recent meeting. The participants had competing agendas, different personalities and diverse perspectives. Being privy to side conversations before the meeting, I knew that they were making judgments about each other. Instead of coming together as “we,” they were defending and protecting the “me.” In his classic book “Nonviolent Communication,”
Most of us have far more courage than we ever dreamed we possessed. – Dale Carnegie One of the hardest things I’ve done at work was firing a customer. Oh, man, it took courage. We’d had a good relationship for many years, but then the company hired a new leader to manage the work with
A few hours after a meeting, I received a call from one of my colleagues. “Hey,” he said. “I was a jerk to you in that meeting. I was feeling insecure and protective. I shouldn’t have taken it out on you. How are you feeling about it?” His courage to have a hard conversation and
During a team meeting last week, one of our colleagues did something that set off a tidal wave of emotional applause throughout the room. We were responding to an unselfish act of communication. This colleague abandoned her insecurities and spoke with a level of passion and force that we had never seen. Because she showed
I have two colleagues, both of whom I’ve known for about the same amount of time. With one, I’m somewhat guarded, not willing to be completely transparent. But with the other, I’m surprised at how vulnerable and candid I can be. The question is, why the difference? I know them equally well. Neither has any
Matt Norman is president of Norman & Associates, which offers Dale Carnegie Training in the North Central US. Dale Carnegie Training is a global organization ...READ MORE