The Most Important Activity to Drive Engagement and Results
Recently I worked with a group of struggling managers who have been under pressure to boost results within their teams.
These managers care about their work, and they have several opportunities to influence the people they lead — meetings, leading by example, email/text correspondence. But none of these opportunities has the focus and depth of a 1-1 meeting.
1-1s offer dedicated time and space for getting beyond surface conversation, problem spotting and short-term thinking.
Most of us are familiar with the concept of 1-1s, but quality and cadence matter. If you’re leading others and want to improve engagement, trust and results, it’s a good idea to regularly reflect on the effectiveness and frequency of your 1-1s.
Types of 1-1s
Many leaders conflate competing objectives into their 1-1s which can result in a superficial exchange of pleasantries and classic “Update-Ideas loops.” These loops often sound like this:
(Update) We’re behind on this project and I’m struggling to get the sales team to agree to a time for the compliance training.
(Ideas) Have you thought about trying … or ….? Yes, I’ve thought about just attending their next weekly meeting. Do you have any other ideas?
In general, Update-Ideas loops not only fail to address root causes, they tend to limit the value that the leader can truly offer.
More productive than Update-Ideas loops are focused, designated, regular time in 1-1s for:
- Planning: to align goals, make choices, and set a path forward.
- Progress: to understand success and struggle relative to goals.
- Performance: to coach abilities needed to achieve progress and attain the plan.
Focusing dedicated effort toward each of these three aims will result in more meaningful conversations.
Stages of a 1-1 Conversation
It’s important to strike the right balance in 1-1s between personal connection and work-related discussion. To do so, consider following this three-step framework:
1. Therapy. Don’t skip this and jump to problem-solving and planning. Take time to empathize and allow the other person to explore their feelings. Regardless of personality styles, you’re talking with a human being who brings their “whole self” to their work. As questions such as:
- How are you feeling?
- What makes you excited about this?
- What are all your concerns right now?
2.Strategy. Spend time planning and analyzing progress and performance as discussed above. If the other person is high skill/low will, use open-ended questions to engage them. If they are low skill/high will, be a bit more directive, telling them what you think they should do.
3.Accountability. Come to an agreement on what commitments will be made and how follow-through will happen. Great 1-1s end with clear next steps and accountabilities.
Ideal Mindset in a 1-1
Regardless of the circumstances and the attitude of the other person, strong leaders strive toward three mental objectives during a 1-1:
- Care but don’t care — be non-reactive. Care deeply about the person. Care about results. Don’t care what the person thinks of you. It might sound harsh to say don’t care about their temporary disappointment or suffering. But when you worry about your image or their comfort, you become reactive, and as I recently wrote, this can be the greatest barrier to strong leadership.
- Don’t accept self-limiting beliefs. Many leading coaches and researchers have explained the pervasiveness of thinking “I can’t do this,” “I’m not good enough,” or “I’ll never fit in.” The fact is, most people assume negative narratives about themselves and, as a result, only use 10-40% of their capacity. In 1-1s it’s imperative that leaders listen for limiting beliefs and challenge them in an encouraging way.
- Drive intrinsic motivation. Strong leaders also consider the source of the other person’s motivation. Their fear of authority and consequences will only sustain them so far. That’s why great leaders will probe the internal “why,” or the factors at stake that the person cares most deeply about. Ask questions like:
- Why might this be important to you?
- How does this connect to your personal vision?
Don’t let urgent demands tempt you to defer, delay, or decline 1-1s. Make them a priority and make them matter.
The managers I worked with who were struggling are already seeing improvements in the results of their teams and in their own stress levels by having better 1-1s.
How could you improve your 1-1s as a leader?
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