Want to Grow and Reach Your Goals?
We all face setbacks at some point or another. The true test comes in how we handle them. I’ve been thinking about Sgt. Earl Plumlee, who received the U.S. Medal of Honor last year as part of the 1st Special Forces Group in Afghanistan. From the citation:
“While deployed to Afghanistan, then-Staff Sergeant Plumlee instantly responded to a complex enemy attack that began with a massive explosion that tore a sixty-foot breach in the base’s perimeter wall. Ten insurgents wearing Afghan National Army uniforms and suicide vests poured through the breach.”
Defending the base, Plumlee jumped in a vehicle and raced toward the detonation. As the vehicles came under heavy fire, he used his body to shield the driver.
Then, when an insurgent detonated a suicide vest, he ran toward the wounded “with complete disregard for his own safety…and rendered first aid.”
It’s an incredible example of running toward rather than trying to escape from resistance to pursue what you value most.
What resistance could you run toward to pursue what you value most?
Sometimes resistance is dramatic, obvious, and happens to you. You get rejected. You suffer a loss. The effort fails. We can make the choice to run toward these types of resistance to grow and learn.
Other kinds of resistance aren’t always as easy to spot. In fact, more frequently, resistance comes in the form of an internal B.L.A.S.T. You might feel intensely:
- Bored. Maybe you’re challenged by a lack of excitement. You’re not doing what you want to be doing, or you’re waiting, or you’re in a period of repetition.
- Lonely. Perhaps you feel distant or lacking close connections. You’re isolated, on an “island,” because others aren’t around, they aren’t helping you, or they don’t see things the way you do.
- Angry. It’s possible you’re upset. You’re angry at your leader, your company, someone you live with, another team, your circumstances, the “system,” or perceived injustice.
- Stressed. Maybe you’re overwhelmed or overworked. What’s being demanded of you seems beyond your capacity or your control.
- Tired. Perhaps you’re simply run down, lacking energy, lacking the will or ability to give more.
Each of these daily breaches invites one of two options: We can run toward it or escape from it.
The Arduous Work of Growth And Goal-attainment
I’ve been asking myself when I experience a B.L.A.S.T.: Will I try to escape from or run toward this feeling?
My escapes when I’m feeling a B.L.A.S.T. are things like:
- Scrolling my phone
- Working beyond my limits (it’s weird how work can sometimes be an escape)
- Eating unhealthy food
- Seeking attention from others
You know your escapes. They allow you to avoid dealing with the B.L.A.S.T. head on. But they prevent you from growing and attaining your goals.
Facing the B.L.A.S.T. means doing something arduous. Isn’t that a great word?
When you’re bored, the arduous work may be continuing to do the repetitive activities that will likely lead to results. Or the arduous work might be doing something more creative.
When you’re lonely, the arduous work could be outreach, collaboration, or having a hard conversation.
If you’re angry, the arduous work could be processing your anger with someone you trust or sorting out what’s making you upset.
Stressed? Do the arduous work of planning, delegation…or just suck it up and get through it.
Tired? Put your phone down, eat a good meal, go to bed on time, make time for yourself. (When you’re tired, making good choices feels arduous.)
You get the idea. Arduous doesn’t mean “more work.” It means doing what really needs to be done to limit the damage from the B.L.A.S.T. and pursue what matters most.
Life’s tough but you can be tougher. Whether you have dramatic resistance or just a daily feeling from a B.L.A.S.T., do the arduous work of running toward it rather than trying to escape from it.
Where are you trying to escape, and how could you do the arduous work that leads to growth and goals?
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