What Gets in the Way of Leadership?
Forget titles, authority, or experience. Think of leadership as helping others be and do their best as they work toward a shared objective.
With that definition in mind, let’s consider what gets in the way.
- Everyone reacts differently. I have twin teenage boys who I try to motivate every day to be and do their best. Recently, I came up with a great idea that got one of my boys motivated. When I presented it to the other, it was met with apathy. Same age. Same house. Different reactions. David Epstein calls this a “wicked” environment: You can’t predict the response you’ll get to your actions.
- We frequently self-sabotage. We get impatient, impulsive, and irritated because we’re human. That’s why the late Edwin Friedman beautifully explained that, above all, a leader needs to be non-anxious. To get others to be and do their best, leaders need to be their own best selves. Not needy or insecure. Not with a scarcity mindset. Not addicted to their own self-importance and productivity.
Which brings up the necessary decision leaders have to make:
Will I try to prove myself or improve myself?
Will I have a fixed or growth mindset about my leadership today, despite feeling stressed, frustrated, tired, confused?
Don’t answer too quickly.
Having a growth mindset means being vulnerable. You have to admit your flaws, look inside yourself, and ask for feedback.
Do you really want to realize your potential to help others be and do their best?
It will require intentional time.
As you and I experience every day, we usually opt for comfortable busyness. Rather than do what’s most important as a leader, we do what’s in front of us or what we’re good at doing.
Doing what’s most important means:
- Instead of doing what’s most expedient, we have to do what’s hard.
- Instead of staying on the surface in a conversation or with a problem, we have to go deep.
- Instead of just grinding it out and doing it ourselves, we have to coach someone else.
- Instead of worshiping productivity, we have to value availability.
Again, don’t decide too quickly. The first part of each sentence in that list is much safer. The second alternatives are vulnerable. They’re probably not what you’re best at. They likely have less tangible and measurable results.
They almost surely won’t provide instant gratification.
What really gets in the way of leadership?
The fear of: 1) learning and 2) doing what’s most important.
Do you really want to help others be and do their best?
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