Why You Should Embrace What Scares You
What scares you? What do you avoid? Or what would you avoid if the opportunity arose? A big speaking engagement? Starting a business? Telling your boss what you really think? Leaving your job? Selling something? Fighting for a cause?
Many things can scare me. A lot of them came to the surface for me and my family recently.
Invitations to Do What’s Scary
This year, a good friend invited our family to join him on a trip to Rwanda, Africa. He’s the CEO of HOPE International, an organization that we’ve supported for many years that invests in the dreams of families in underserved communities across the world.
While the invitation was exciting, it was also scary — long plane rides with our young children, lots of sitting on buses, language and cultural differences, new foods, and exposure to environmental risks not present in our life at home.
It was the invitation to leave the comfortable and grow.
Has anyone asked you to do something scary recently? Or do you feel an inner desire to step out and embrace what scares you?
What Changes When You Embrace What Scares You
We said yes to that invitation to take our family to Rwanda, and we made it back alive! In fact, it was the experience of a lifetime. We met amazing people, including HOPE staff, other guests like us, and HOPE clients. We saw incredible beauty, energized our commitment to community development, and expanded our understanding of the world we live in.
Additionally, we got to hear firsthand stories of inspiring microfinance and community savings groups lifting themselves out of poverty and achieving their dreams to own businesses, put their children through college, and buy livestock. Along with representatives from local financial institutions, local clergy, and community group facilitators, we took our kids deep into local villages, far from the safety of our home in America.
Lunch one day took place around a small room in someone’s modest home. No door, no dishwasher, no idea who had touched our food or utensils. Dozens of people ate family style — beans, potatoes, plantains, and avocados. Each of our children sat with their plate on their lap, eating generously.
I felt myself letting go of what scares me. In fact, I even embraced it.
Inspiration, joy, and courage replaced the fear.
Embracing What Scares You Leads to Less Anxiety
In his book, The Coddling of the American Mind, New York University social psychologist Jonathan Haidt correlates the high incidence of anxiety in young people with the overprotective way in which Americans tend to parent. His argument goes like this: When you don’t do scary things, you’re afraid to do things. When you don’t deal with scary realities, you’re scared of reality. Whether you’re an American parent or not, it’s dangerous to teach people to avoid being scared.
As the trip to Rwanda came to a close, we all felt freer and fuller because we embraced what scared us. We were more relaxed traveling back home in taxis and airplanes. We were more present to enjoy the moments because we were less distracted about what scared us at the moment. And we all felt braver, which will transfer back to the other scary things we each face in life.
Some scary things can’t be avoided. But many can. We can control, sanitize, and protect ourselves, our family, and our community from scary things. While that might make us safer, it will only make us more anxious and less alive. Embrace what scares you and a whole world awaits.
Where do you need to embrace what makes you scared right now?
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