You May Be Right, But Does Anyone Want to Listen?
In September, 1928, a Scottish physician discovered the world’s first antibiotic: penicillin. This groundbreaking advancement earned Sir Alexander Fleming knighthood and the Nobel Prize.
Yet, soon after this achievement, he began publicly warning that bacteria could become immune or resistant to antibiotics if exposed to non-lethal quantities.
Few listened to him.
Despite his warnings, the first strain of penicillin-resistant bacteria appeared in London…just one year after he began lecturing on the topic.
How could someone with such credibility fail at persuading others with such a clear argument?
I’m guessing you see this happen all the time. You may be right, but no one wants to listen. 
Here’s a personal example for me.
Last fall, I decided I needed a new winter jacket. I conducted extensive analysis (online reviews, asking people I trust, visiting stores, etc.) until I finally made my selection.
When the new jacket arrived, I put it on and paraded it around the house looking for compliments. To my complete surprise, my wife and daughter, both of whom I’d consulted with before making the purchase, said it looked bad.
“Wait, what!?” I responded defensively. “You told me before I bought it that you thought it looked good!”
“No,” one of them calmly explained. “We said we liked the other one better. But you didn’t seem to want to listen. I think you were just looking for confirmation of the decision that you had already made.”
Alas, confirmation bias.
Let’s face it. You may be right about a lot of things, but does anyone want to listen? Confirmation bias is just one of the many hurdles you have to overcome.
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Through hundreds of hours coaching and observing leaders try to get others to listen to them, I’ve found five keys, perhaps above all others, that make the biggest impact. They are:
- Tone. The sound of your voice signals to others whether you are (a) safe and (b) urgent. If you sound impatient, irritated or annoyed, the amygdala in the people who you want to listen will be alerting the rest of the brain to protect, not listen! Also, if you aren’t putting some emphasis and tonal variability into your delivery, listeners may tune out thinking the message isn’t compelling or demanding their attention. So try your best to always sound non-anxious and compassionate as well as assertive and passionate.
- Animation. Studies have shown that, when there’s a disconnect between what you’re saying and what people are hearing, it’s mostly due to what people SEE rather than what they HEAR. The best communicators are able to maintain a facial expression that’s both warm and serious. They use their hands and their body intentionally to add emphasis. They draw or point to visuals that illustrate and substantiate their point. Remember, if you want people to listen, they have to SEE the point you’re trying to make.
- Clarity. In her new book on communication for executives, Sally Susman draws on her extensive experience leading executive communications, most recently at Pfizer during the Covid pandemic. She explains that communications isn’t a soft skill; it’s a “rock hard” skill for executives to continually master. What part of communication do you most need to master? For many, it’s clarity. Get to the point quickly and provide enough detail for your audience, but no more.
- Personalization. The human brain specializes in conserving energy by ignoring information it deems irrelevant. We hone this ability every day as we scroll, scan and search. Does this matter? Nope. This? Nah. How about this? Yes! Don’t just give people information — give them personalization. Tell them: Here’s how and why this matters to you.
- Reinforcement. As marketing experts know, you have to repeatedly expose people to information before they internalize it. If you want people to listen, tell them multiple times in various ways. You can blame people for not listening the first time you told them, but you’re better served just accepting responsibility for the reinforcement.
What are you trying to get people to hear this week?
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